I have done many a tricks ( some call them stunts )over my life time and hopefully may pull off a few more.
Remembering back to my childhood days of Valsetz Halloweens I had one of the tricks (or pranks if you wish) come back and bite me in the butt as no other Halloween trick ever has.
Back in the early fifties some of the houses in our part of Valsetz were still using out door plumbing. No, out door plumbing is not bringing water into the house for the purpose of drinking ,cooking and, flushing the toilet Nor is it doing your business in the bushes.
For the ones that were born in the sixties and not living in the Boon Docks, out door plumbing
referees to little buildings you walk out to when you need to do your business, they called them Out Houses.
Have you seen a home with a up stairs and down stairs Out House? I never knew they existed.
As I remember each Out House always sit over a hole a in the ground!
Makes you wonder how this type Out House worked.
Here is another lesson for all you people that though unisex bathrooms was something new. Now you know unisex bathrooms have been around since who knows when.
Sorry for straying but to get the most of my story I needed for you as a reader to know what Out Side Plumbing was.
Back to my story of being bit in the butt after pulling a Halloween trick.
This Halloween would be the first year my friends and myself felt we were to big to be going door to door trick or treating.
As most young boys of this age we decided we would go tricking Halloween night. Who wanted to go to an old Halloween dance. But what tricks to do and who do you trick was now our only thoughts. As we planned our capers for the fate full Halloween night we got more excited as each caper was planned. Some where during all this excitement I come up with this big Idea that was to make this Halloween the best ever. It turned out different for me, this Halloween become the biggest butt biter I ever was to have.
Things would have been fine if we would have stopped with just one, but no we had to do the neighbors too.
You might have guessed by now we pushed over the Out House to my house and then done neighbors.
Like I said If we would have stopped at shoving over the Out House to my house we would have been fine.
As far back as I could remember I had heard of Halloween story's of pushing over People's Out Houses. What give me the Idea to push over our Out House was my family did not need Out Side Plumbing any more because inside plumbing at our house had been completed a few weeks prior. No harm No foul right.
The problem was the neighbors inside plumbing was not completed (whoops.)
The following morning we were awoke by our neighbors in need of our facility. As I lay in bed I could hear the conversation going on between my folks and the neighbors. It went some thing like this. Paraphrasing, I got up to go out back to do my business and to my surprise no Out House .
So I headed to your, it was gone also, it good you got yours inside because your old Out House is down the hill by the tracks and busted up bad. I heard my dad mumble a few obscenities and then told the neighbor lets go out and put yours back over the hole. The neighbor spoke can't it busted up when it hit the ground. Then he asked dad, I hate to impose but can I use your toilet?
Dad laughed and told the neighbour sure you and the wife are welcome to use it any time you feel the need. After the neighbor finished his business my mom gave him a cup of coffee. When she handing the coffee to him she ask who in this town would do something as stupid as this? The neighbour replied I'm sorry to say this but I think Jerry had something to do with it. I saw him with a bunch of boys milling around town last night, and I found what looks like one of your old work gloves next to the hole you know the ones that had blue pain on them, I left it out side it smelled so bad. My dad then told the neighbor I will find out if Jerry was involved we thought he was at the Halloween dance.
That's when I started wondering if I could get to the green timbers with out being caught. To late not a chance I could heard dad heading toward my room.
I don't think I have the space nor the time to repeat the conversation my father had with me, nor the one with my mother.
I have always been told the truth will set you free. After confession to my folks that I indeed with help from my friends had pushed the two Out Houses over and those were the only ones we had ever done begin to think this truth will set yo free was bull S*%#.
Not only did I get a good butt beating but blistered hands filling in the holes of the old Out Houses.
I had to go and apologize to the neighbours and tell the them how sorry and stupid I was (my Mom insisted I use the word stupid) then as my mom said" tell them they could use our toilet any time they feel the need." The waiting for the neighbors to get their own indoor plumbing was the worst punishment of all. Their need was quite often and lasted for over a month. The topper was when our indoor plumbing was installed they built the little room by walling a section off from my bedroom and the wall was next to by bed, and no insulation was put in the wall.
Come the Halloweens of following years I give Out Houses a wide berth.
Make sure you don't miss VALSETZ AFTER MIDNIGHT Halloween special at
http://valsetzhalloween.homestead.com/index.html
Or you can find the link on http://valsetzoregon.com/
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